What Biblical Male Leadership in Marriage is About

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Complementarianism.  Egalitarianism.  Female Preachers.  Patriarchy.  And so on.  If you’re one of those Christians who spends any time on social media, you have probably noticed a good deal of recent discussion between Christians of various stripes about the roles of men and women in the home and in the church, and lots of debate about what certain people have had to say about all of that.  This post is about these things, just to warn you.  To state my intentions up front, my desire in this post is to look at what God has to say about male leadership in the home – in marriage, specifically – in one particular verse of the Bible.… Continue reading

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A Letter to Young(ish) Christian Husbands & Fathers

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Dear Brothers,

You have been on my heart for some time, which is likely because I am one of you.  I am a relatively young man (i.e. under 40), who is also a Christian, a husband, and a father.  You are my peers.  And I am writing to you today, because seldom a day goes by where I am not reminded that we all have a whole lot to learn.

Let me share a little more about myself before I get to the reason for this letter.  I am fast-approaching 39 years of age and have been married for nearly 19 years.  Yes, I married young.  Too young, in fact.  But God is sovereign and good, and so despite “many dangers, toils, and snares” in our marriage we are pressing on by grace toward another nineteen years and then some.  I have made many mistakes along those 19 years as a husband (which I’ve written about in years past), some of them I’m still coming to understand and still trying to correct.  You would think that there would be little grace left for a husband like me, but God is an infinite God and his grace is an infinite grace.  For that I am most grateful.… Continue reading

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Schedule your Priorities

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What is the greatest commandment? Jesus answers, “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’” and “YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” (Matthew 22:37 & 39). Although the Pharisees tried to box him into a situational answer, to set him up for failure, [1] Jesus both corrects and dodges them pointing out the foundational reason for every commandment: devotion to the Lord.

Jesus answer addresses the true reason for every commandment: worship. The use of ‘love’ in this text, conveys the idea of worship and devotion. To live is Christ.… Continue reading

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5 Traits of Gospel-Driven Husbands

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Nowhere is the Gospel more needed than in a marriage. Two sinners pledging their lives to one another is not exactly a recipe for satisfaction and blessing, but for the grace of God. Scripture tells us that marriage was intended by God to function as a living breathing illustration of the Gospel (Eph 5:22-33). What this means is that for a marriage to operate as the Lord intends for it to operate, a man and his wife must be breathing in the oxygen of the Gospel on a daily basis and actively pursuing ways to work its truths into their relationships with one another.… Continue reading

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A Broken Marriage and a Gracious God

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Yesterday, my wife Noelle and I celebrated our seventeenth wedding anniversary.  It’s an utterly remarkable thing to us, especially considering the fact that just eight years ago we were estranged from one another and headed for a divorce.

We had been married for nine years at that point.  By the summer of 2009, I found myself regularly pleading with the Lord to save our marriage, as we were in really bad shape.  We didn’t trust one another.  We weren’t listening to one another.  We weren’t handling the pressure of life and ministry well.  And we were desperately trying to maintain the appearance of having it all together. … Continue reading

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