New Study Shows Shorter Sermons Are Perferred

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God has used all kinds of literature in the Bible to convey His truth. Poetry, narrative, exhortation, etc. One of those is Satire. Satire can be defined as the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. This genre is used quite a bit in God’s Word. Elijah the prophet used it (1 Kings 18:27). Isaiah used it (Isa 40:19-20). Paul used it (1 Cor 4:8-13). Jesus used it (Matt 7:5). And God used it (Jer 46:11). In fact, it is possible that Jonah is a whole 4-chapter book that is satirical, though still historical.

So, God has given us this language to help us see issues better. Which is why, I believe, the BabylonBee is such a popular website. It is funny, revealing, helpful, and filled with irony. If you do not know of the Bee, please add it to your daily reading.

A few months ago, I decided to write my own version of a BabylonBee post, and here I am again with another.

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According to a recent study, churches that have highest attendance are those who also have a 15-minute or less sermon. The poll was conducted by ChurchByDaNumbers—a church trend and visionary research company—who spent months on the internet, visiting hundreds of church websites. “I think we may have found the most significant find in growing the church since Pentecost,” says CEO John Topper. “I wanted to release this information to serve the body of Christ at large.”

Mr. Topper also revealed other trends in churches that are growing in number: comfortable stadium seating, funny church signs, repetitive music with small words and no concepts, emphasis on social issues, and good-looking people on stage that are fashionable with multiple visible tattoos. “But far and away the most important element is the length of the sermon, which some churches call a ‘monologue.’”

“The trend is obviously a sign from God and we need to listen,” Topper exhorts. “We can really grow the the Jesus community faster now than it did in Acts 2.”

When asked about why 45.6 million people could sit through a 90+ minute State of the Union speech given by President Trump and provide personal commentary, but then unable to endure a sermon longer than 15 minutes without a single response, Mr. Topper responded, “Christians don’t judge.”

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